我中學讀男校, 所以除了在家, 幾乎沒有機會接觸女性.
讀預科時認識了不少異性朋友, 問她們如何追女仔, 她們都說, 追女仔最緊要 '有誠意', '厚面皮', 追到女仔感動為止.
這套方式, 直到現在我仍懷疑是女性用來整蠱男性的. '有誠意' 是做到的, 但 '厚面皮' 及 '窮追猛打' 我就真的沒有試過.
男人 (仔) 嘛, 拿點氣概, 魅力, 才華出來! 哪用拜倒石榴裙下?
今日為大家帶來一段黑人追女仔的短片. Enjoy!
(以下為抄本)
Damn...damn!
Oh damn, ok ok ok
Excuse me, can I talk [to] you for a minute?
Excuse me, can I talk [to] you for a minute?
Um, yeah, what's up?
Uh yeah, my name [is] Darrell. It spell[s] like Darrell but it's pronounced da-RELL. Um yeah, I just want to let you know...the back of your head is ridiculous!
Um, thanks…
Yeah, you are welcome!
Where's your boyfriend?
What, who?
Your boyfriend? Where [is] your boyfriend at? Is he getting refreshments (飲品)? Is he tall? Is he getting you Mike n Ikes (一個美國糖果牌子)? Oh, you like Mike n Ikes? Is he hefty (廣東話=大隻)? Is he coming back? Where your boyfriend? Where your boyfriend at? Where your boyfriend?
I don't, um, I don't have a boyfriend.
Oh, you don't? Oh you don't have a boyfriend! Ok, ok, that’s cool, that’s cool. Yeah, so listen um, I was wondering...can I have your number? Can I have your number?
No no, I don't give out my number...in theaters...when I'm about to watch a movie.
Oh ok ok, that’s cool that’s cool. I get it, you know. You, you all into (喜歡) pondering (沉思) like cinemas and make-believes (幻想) and celluloid (化學名, 現指 ‘電影膠捲’). Yeah yeah, ok ok, me too, me too. Ok yeah yeah, I respect that. Keep doing your thing Miss Shally, Miss Jean Shally. Yeah, yeah that's cute.
What's your name, delicate (原指精緻的東西, 現指 ‘靚女’)?
Yvonne.
Oh, Yvonne?! Aw damn, hold up (沒有特別意思, 大約可解作 ‘喂’), that's a French-ass name, Yvonne! Yeah, my little croissant (法式牛角包), my little cheese. Oh my croissant. Yeah.
So listen, can I have your number? Can I have your number?
Look, this is my day off and I just want to watch this movie...alone. I'm sorry.
Oh ok ok, I get it, I get it. I respect that.
So I can't have it?
No, I just don't give it out.
Oh, ok ok. I get it. I get it. You just being all selective ‘cause you got a ponytail (你是由於紮馬辮才這樣揀擇吧), right, right? You think a lot of men can't handle the regalness (高雅) of an updo (髮型).
No, no...
You all like Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly, Grace Kelly (60年代著名美國演員, 後成為摩洛哥皇妃, 已故).
No, no, I'm not being anything because I have a ponytail.
Aw Vonny Vonny Vonny, girl, Vonny Vonny. Don't be insecure (不安), girl. Own that ponytail, work that updo (有馬辮就要弄好它)!
Ok, I will.
Aw damn. You kinda sexy when you take my advice girl. I like that, yeah, I like that. Yeah, so uh listen, can I have your number? Can I have it? Can I have it? Can I please receive the secret code so that if entered telephonically [it] will pass me through to you, which means it will be your beautiful-ass number (片中最精彩的一句, 故作高雅卻明顯低俗的句子, 意思大約是 ‘我可以得到你那個如果以電話輸入了就能把我接通你的神秘號碼嗎? 亦即是你那靚到xx [粗口] 的號碼’)?
No, no, I...
No come on, can I have it? Can I have it? Can I have it? Can I? Can I? Can I have it? Can I have it? Can I have it?
No, the previews (預告片) are about to start and I just...want to ponder them...alone, so...but thanks anyway.
Oh ok, ok. Alright that’s cool that’s cool. No, no I get it. You know, you wanna like, you know, go through all the intricacies (錯綜複雜的劇情) of the cinema. Ok ok, yeah. You keep doing your thing, you know you keep doing your thing, Yvonne Shally, Yvonne Shally, my little brie (法國芝士, 白芝士的一種). Yeah ok, alright alright alright. I gonna miss you though, I gonna miss you. Alright you enjoy your day girl, take care, alright...I love you.
下回為大家解釋黑人英語.
